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| i think mebbe i shud go there this week. i think i mebbe hichhike? s'mol's birthday. an'i mek her a presint. i dun want t'ship it cuz it mebbe will brake.
exept i fuckin' hate chicago.
also mol's birthday its the 23 and skyzombie birthday its the 24, but i can't be in chicago one day an' bak t'dc th'next. so tha's hard to. i think mebbe i will move chicago nex' door t'dc for a day so i can get t'both places. chicago shudn' be in th'midwest, nohow. | | |
| so mol is in town an' we
dun planned t'play video games all day but then the motherfuckin
weather which was cold and rainy all yesterday dun got all warm an'
sunny t'day, an' its so gorgis outside it shot our video game plans all
to hell.
fuckin weather going an' not raining on our unparade!
so insted of video games we gunna go find food not bombs an serve, or eat, or both, and skate around dc and enjoy the sun.
an' then t'morow mol spending th'day @ jax n dex's farm. lucky jax n dex. bastards. i dun see her neer enof.
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| t'moro its christmas, an' it's shymm's birthday.
mol an' th'asyulum kids is back in town f'r christmas, an' tha'makes me happy. i dun think i cud stand it if they wasn' aruond.
Haze reminds me of shymm when he smiles, th'way he scrunches his face
up an'looks like he aint shure if he shuld be smileing or no but he
gonna do it nohow.
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| haveing th'Asylum kids here it make me better, i think. i misst mol so
much. s'good t'have her aruond agin. i spended to much o'me time
jus'sittin around dying. tha's not good.
we goned t'see rent an' th'line hit me tha' allways hits me these days, in 'la vie bohem' -
to people liveing with
liveing with
liveing with
not dying from disease
an'tha's what i been doing, dying from disease. but i dun have to. an'i
think wehthr i do or not, tha's all in me atitude. so i desided to stop
dying an' start liveing.
i spending a lot of times t'day making a present f'r th'kid tha' payed
f'r mol's tickit t'cum out n see me. vem an' august sayed he likes
ducks. so i makeing a box. i carveing all th'wood meself an'finishing
it. an'makeing stain glass f'r the top. wi'a duck.
s'good t'be working wi'me hands agin. i miss it.
i maked vem a kaleidoscope too. he lieks it lots. he say i got t'teech him t'mek stain glass.
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| Bria maked me a new banner f'r th'top o'me site, cuz f'r sum reesin th'one scottishfyre maked me a long time ago it disappeered now. Tha's sad cuz i liked it. But i like her new one too so i gess s'ok.
rite now i reel hapy cuz mol
she camed back home frum chicago and is hanging out wi'us f'r sum days.
i mist her a lot wen she in chicago. things jest ain't th'same aruond
heer wi'ou' her.
august he get upset at me
f'r not tryin' t'live. cuz reely i ain't been tryin, an' now i dying
for it. But - it were me birthday las' week. i 25 now. I didn' ne'er
think I'd make 25. Tha's a long fuckin' time t'be hanging around this
planet. espeshily considerng i spended more'n haf that time out on
th'streets. an'th'past yeers they been th'hardest. at first, wehn i was
on th'streets, i was allus wi'spike. an' then it was ok. cuz we was on
th'streets but we wasn't ne'er homeless. we didn' got no houses, tha's
f'r shure, an' we didn' ne'er stay in th'same sity more'n a month or 2
at a time. but, cheesey as it is to say, we allus had eech other. an'
werever he was, that was home f'r me.
but then he died 5 yeers ago, an' sinse then i been well n truely
homeless. th'streets they so much harder when u alone. an'i had me
anjuls... but it jus' ain't the same as haveing someone who been there
with ye thru all the shit tha'goes down out there. an' then i had me
shymmer... but now he ded too.
an' now i got aids. an' now i dying. an' ev'ryone they seems reel
upsetted abuout this. an' part o'me thinks i shud fite more. but part
o' me jus' thinks, i c'n soon agin be wi' spike an' wi'shymm an' gavin
an' all th' kids that goned.
i aint been home in a long time, an' i c'n soon agin be home.
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